Happy Meals, Ted Nugent, the XL Pipeline, and Saxophone Jokes

A Chiropractor in Papillion, Ne has had a McDonald's Happy Meal on display in his office for two years now as an illustration that fast foods are not that good for you. "There are so many preservatives in these processed foods that it will never mold,” said office Director Andrew Rivera. A McDonald's spokesperson said all that has really happened is that that food has dried out and was preserved........like a mummy, I suppose. ******************* A Nebraska judge has ruled that Governor Heineman's giving the power of eminent domain to TransCanada violated the state's constitution, thus delaying resolution of the XL Pipeline once again. Gov. Heineman gave away the farm, and it turns out farmers didn't like that. I don't understand why people are so opposed to the construction of a pipeline guaranteed to leak that would transport dirty, expensive, chemically laden petrochemicals across the largest freshwater aquifer in the world threatening the entire economy of the midwest to be refined in Texas and sold to China. ***************************** EXXON-Mobil's CEO, while claiming fracking is 100% safe, is filing a lawsuit to stop fracking next to his 100 acre horse ranch. Um. The NIMBY principle at work. Did he think no one would notice? *********************************** Republican Ted Nugent, draft dodger, misogynist, gun crazed psychopath lunatic apologized this week for calling President Obama a "communist-nurtured subhuman mongrel." It seems that even a few Republican leaders thought he had crossed the line. You think? ******************************** I continue to believe Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie have a better chance of serving in the big house than the White House. Time will tell. ******************************* Tennessee workers voted to reject a unionization effort by UAW at a Tennessee Volkswagen manufacturing plant. Tennessee Senator Corker threatened workers that if they unionized, Tennessee could make life miserable for the plant in the form of higher taxes. Volkswagen is now saying that they may not want to expand in a state so unfriendly to its workers. The UAW may appeal the election results as tainted by Senator Corker's and others' remarks. ************************ I liked the tautological sign I saw by the Metropolitan Community College bookstore seeking workers: "Looking for people who, well, like working in bookstores." ********************* The verdict came down on the Michael Dunn case in Florida. Dunn was found guilty of three counts of attempted murder for shooting into the fleeing SUV containing Jordan Davis and three friends. The jury hung on the first degree murder charge for the death of Jordan Davis in that vehicle. Dunn said Jordan Davis was playing loud music with a menacing expression on his face. Dunn will serve a long sentence, I hope. Florida's Stand Your Ground Law as it currently exists seems to allow armed individuals to pick fights with unarmed minority kids and then shoot them if they fight back. It's a bad law. ************************ And a few saxophone jokes: What did the saxophone player get on his IQ test? Drool. How do you get a saxophone player off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza. What's the least used sentence in the English language? "Isn't that the saxophone player's Porsche?" And why couldn't the saxophone player get into his house? He couldn't find the right key.