What a week! Iran, Indiana, and Bobby Jindahl

What a week. Iran. Indiana. * * * * * * * * The US military/industrial complex crapped its pants upon learning the US and six other nations signed a historic agreement with Iran to dramatically slow its nuclear weapons program. "We've got fiduciary responsibility to our stockholders who have been counting on a major war with Iran. What are we going to tell them? We've spent millions and millions bribing Congress to spend hundreds and hundreds of billions of $$$ on weapons that haven't even been invented yet, and this is what we get? Peace? No way. What are we supposed to do with all this inventory. There's only so many bombs we can drop on ISIS. And besides, we've got over 20,000 nukes and we sure as heck don't want Iran getting one," a spokesperson said. "I mean, what right do sovereign nations have to produce nuclear weapons, anyway?" Andy Borowitz said it all this way taking a shot at John McCain: "Peace with Iran Could Limit Ability to Bomb It, Warns McCain." And I would add, a majority of Republicans who have no idea what a centrifuge is oppose the agreement. * * * * * * * * About Indiana - In a stunning reversal, Leader of Iran's Islamic Revolution, Ayatollah Seyyed Ali Khamenei, denounced Indiana Governor Mike Pence today for bowing to the forces of the infidels and sodomists. Just days ago he had defended embattled Indiana Governor Mike Pence. "We have a similar law in Iran which works very well against homosexuals, Christians, Jews, atheists and many other infidels. If we read this new law correctly, Muslim shop owners will now be able to refuse service to Jews and Christians. Your liberal media is over-reacting. Indiana's tiny steps towards Sharia law should be applauded. In fact, we have invited Governor Pence to visit Iran at his earliest opportunity, perhaps to help us celebrate opening our first Hobby Lobby franchise." However, in a press release issued today, Leader of Iran's Islamic Revolution, Ayatollah Seyyed Ali Khamenei said, "The dramatic changes to the bill which originally allowed discrimination to now prohibiting discrimination against LGBTs, including new language which prohibits businesses from using the new law “to refuse service to anyone on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity or a range of other classifications, including race and religion,” are shocking and disappointing and we can no longer support Indiana's Governor. Just days ago, Indiana seemed to be on the path to theocracy like the great nation of Iran, and now........not so much. We are reconsidering whether to allow a Hobby Lobby franchise. And our talks with Chic fil A are cancelled for sure." * ** * * * * * Significantly, it wasn't until Indiana and Arkansas lost Walmart and NASCAR that they realized they had a problem. * * * * * * * * * Finally, regarding fact checking and the Republican candidates: Fact checking groups like Politifact, Media-matters, Fact-check, Snopes, and others are gearing up for the 2016 Presidential campaigns. "We have realized very quickly that with our current technology we will not be able to keep up with the Republican fibs. It's so ingrained with these guys, we wonder sometimes if they no longer realize how far they have wandered from the factual world. With Ted Cruz' announcement that he was running, we immediately reached our capacity to fact check. His announcement speech at Liberty University nearly crashed our computers. We counted over one million lies in that two hour speech alone. Smoke was billowing out of the fronts of our mainframes and servers. With the prospect of Rand Paul and Jeb Bush entering the race, and God forbid, that crazy f****** brain surgeon, Ben Carson, or Huckabee, or Rubio, we are planning to add over a thousand Cray Supercomputers with a million billion trillion quadrillion terragooglebytes of cloud computing power just to keep up. Our worst case scenario is that Bobby Jindahl, Rick Santorum, Chris Christie, and Scott Walker also enter the race. We would be totally overwhelmed; there is just no way to design a system to fact check that much mendacity. Our only hope is that, like Rick Perry, several more of these prevaricating wackos will face criminal investigations and felony indictments."