Saturday, October 24, 2015

Special Hillary Clinton Edition

Breaking news: Hillary Clinton announced tonight that she has dropped out of the Presidential race. "It dawned on me today as I sat in that House hearing room that I'd have to work with those ass***** in Congress every f****** day for eight years. Look what that did to Barack. He looks 20 years older than when he went in. I've got better things to do than waste my time talking every day to emtpy headed idiots like that who wouldn't know a fact if it fell from a twelve story building and landed on their head. I can't believe they ever got elected in the first place. The stupidity was overwhelming. I will fully support Bernie Sanders. He already looks 20 years older." * * * * * * * * * Just kidding. * * * * * * * * I'm still stuck on Ch. 5 of my novel, "Has Anybody Seen My Picasso," but I have a new title for a second one based upon a line of questioning at the recent House Select Committee on Benghazi: "Hillary Slept Alone." My brother Jerry suggested an opening line: After waking from a nightmare that seemed to drag on for months, Hillary heard a raspy voice whisper, "Hey, Baby." She elbowed him, mumbled, "F#*k off," rolled over, and went back to sleep. . . .* * * * * * * * * * It's got to be frustrating for those Republican members who believe Hillary Clinton eats live babies for lunch with Satan to come away from her 11 hours of testimony on Benghazi and learn nothing............"I cannot believe she's not guilty of something; we just can't find it," said one Republican staffer. "But we've got an unlimited budget and a year and half now to prepare for her impeachment hearing on her first day as President." * * * * * * * * * Other breaking news from the 11 hour testimony of Hillary Clinton: Ambassador to Libya did not know Hillary's home address.........A guy named Sidney Blumenthal sends Hillary Clinton email........Hillary slept alone on the night of the Benghazi attack................These three items are the only new information elicited during those eleven hours. * * * * * * * Conspiracy theorists on the far right Republican side are now claiming that the seven Republican led Congressional investigations of Benghazi are actually a plot by Democrats to make Hillary Clinton look presidential. "Democrats knew we would be rude ass*****, make wild, preposterous accusations, ask ridiculous inane questions having nothing to do with Benghazi, go off on wild tangents that went nowhere, and look stupid, all the while making her look calm, composed, wise, rational, and well, presidential; and yet the Democrats just stood by and let us continue investigation after investigation, hearing after hearing even though we found no wrong doing by anyone, just a tragic outcome in a dangerous outpost. We have been unfairly duped by the Democrats," a Republican Congressman from Kansas said today. "This whole mess is their fault." * * * * * * * * * Global warming related or not, the headline that the "most powerful hurricane ever" was about to clobber Mexico got my attention. * * * * * * * * In other political news, Ben Carson, who wants to transform The Department of Education into a state apparatus to monitor speech on college campuses, now leads Donald Trump in Iowa in two separate polls. Weep for the Nation. * * * * * * * * * Some guy named Lincoln Chafee dropped out of the Democratic presidential race. * * * * * * * * * More preschoolers are killed by guns than are police officers. * * * * * * * * I am still taking orders for my 2016 Art by Cassiday wall calendars, and as a special offer, I am adding one free bonus day to February! That's right, for no extra charge, I am adding an entire day, a full 24 hours, for you to enjoy on Feb. 29. Avoid March 1, for one full day. This offer will not occur again until 2020, so act fast! 11 x 17 in. $20. email me at


Blogger Mary Campbell said...

How about green type for fictional facts (not red like Jesus' words in Catholic bibles)? We apolitical readers need the handicap.... Great calendar bargain, folks. Leap on it!

3:07 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home