Friday, December 19, 2014

Dear World: Dick Cheney - our bad.

In response to a reporter's question a while back, President Obama replied, "When will I extend diplomatic relations to Cuba? When will I extend diplomatic relations to Cuba? I'll tell you when. The day that North Korea tells Hollywood what movies to show in American theaters.....that's the day I'll recognize Cuba! That'll be the day. And not a day before......" IN BREAKING NEWS just TODAY: President Obama has cancelled North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un's NETFLIX and Hulu accounts. * * * * * * There was always something out of balance regarding our policy of only having diplomatic relations with very large communist countries. Raoul Castro is havana good week. As a side note to that, classic car buffs are looking forward to the day when they'll get a chance to purchase some of those 1950's autos the Cubans drive. * * * * * Regarding those who demand religious displays in government buildings, there's a certain Karmic balance that Satan worshipers now have a display in the Michigan State House. * * * * * * Filled my car with gas the other day for $24.00. Thanks, Obama, although I probably should thank the oil companies for fracking the sh** out of the United States, too, and greedy Saudis for continuing to drain world oil reserves even while the price plummets, and gas mileage requirements by the EPA, African warlords spewing gushers of oil onto their lands, and Japan and Europe for their tanking economies, and the development of alternative fuels, but that just complicates the issue........ In the meantime, I can't say I really miss the days of $3.50 a gallon gasoline, so I'll enjoy it while it lasts..... and commute to work on my motorcycle whenever the weather permits.. * * * * * * Dear Taliban: You suck. * * * * * * * Newly confirmed Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, opposed by the NRA, is considering whether to require a Doctor's Prescription to purchase assault weapons at Walmart. Currently, sale of all assault weapons is done "over the counter" similar to a Sudafed purchase. * * * * * * By the way, today marks the 2375th consecutive day the Republicans have failed to deliver their long promised alternative to Obamacare .......... maybe tomorrow. * * * * * Finally, a message to the entire world: Dear World: On behalf of the United States of America, I'd like to apologize for Dick Cheney. Our bad. Sincerely, Bud Cassiday


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