artbycassiday

Friday, July 17, 2015

Pluto, Iran, and Donald Trump

Traveling almost 5 billion miles over nine years, the New Horizons spacecraft sends back best photo of Pluto ever.........This was the speediest spacecraft ever launched, traveling the equivalent of New York to LA every five minutes -- for nine years. Pluto, before it was demoted from "planet" status to "dwarf planet" status, was the only planet discovered by an American. Most of the other planets were seen by our most ancient African ancestors in the night sky. Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto were discovered in 1781, 1846, and 1930. * * * * * * Violence erupted at this week's White House press conference when President Barack Obama leaped from the podium and beat the sh** out of Major Garrett of CBS for asking a particularly insulting, loaded question about the Iran nuclear deal. "That's f****** bullsh** you pompous snot nose motherf*****," the President was heard to say as he pummeled the hapless reporter. "This is a side of the President we'd like to see more of," said a small crowd of supporters who have endured the President's measured and calm responses to the most vituperative and vile remarks hurled at him for years. "I've never been so proud of him as when he decked that CBS guy," said one fellow. "That prick had it coming." The President calmly strode back to the podium and dared anyone else to ask him a stupid question as paramedics administered medical assistance to Mr. Garrett.* * * * * * * * Re. nuclear deal with Iran: Nixon didn't pursue peace with China - oh wait, yes he did. Reagan didn't pursue peace with the Soviet Union - oh wait, yes he did. War with Iran may very well be averted as Iran dismantles its nuclear weapons program; nevertheless, Republicans vow to fight.* * * * * * * An Onion article from 2009 explains the sudden rise on Donald Trump in the Republican polls: Onion article from 2009 explains Donald Trump's rise in the Republican polls........... Stupid Man Overshadowed By Louder Stupid Man............... BETHESDA, MD—A long, idiotic rant delivered by a demonstrably stupid man was interrupted Monday by the ramblings of a man who, in addition to being stupid, spoke in a very loud voice. "The first man was certainly stupid, but he was more relentless than loud," said a quiet and somewhat reasonable man who witnessed the dispute. "So when the other man began saying something even stupider at a much higher volume, naturally I had to pay attention to him." As of press time, both men had quieted down somewhat, but remained stupid. * * * * * * * * * Re. the latest mass shooting, this one in Tennessee, just remember that guns don't kill people, people with guns kill people.

2 Comments:

Blogger Mary Campbell said...

I was so disappointed to learn that the president did NOT pummel Major Garrett and call him delightfully nasty names. I had to look it up, not being tuned in to national or global events (or local ones, when it comes right down to it). I like your version better than the Huffington Post's, but don't be surprised if your poetic license is revoked.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Bud Cassiday said...

thanks mary. funny.

7:22 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home