Friday, January 29, 2016

Just Call me "Ammo"

Ammon Bundy, "just call me Ammo for short but never catch me short on ammo," the well armed leader of that ragtag bunch of gun toting seditionists occupying that wildlife headquarters was arrested the other night along with a handful of other well armed cowboys from Arizona when they left the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon to rally other insurrectionists against the United States. Lavoy Finicum was shot and killed when he appeared to be reaching for a weapon after driving his vehicle into a snow bank trying to avoid a roadblock. Knows as "Tarp Man," Lavoy vowed to never be taken alive. Sad as it is for him and his family, which was comprised mainly of foster children who were recently removed from his house depriving him of his main source of income, it is sad for the country, too. There is a strange strain of Super-Patriots who hate America these days. Often relying on government subsidies of one kind or another, they see and fight against a tyranny that the rest of us can't see, like those guys wearing the sunglasses in "They Live," that weird sci-fi move a few years ago. Now in jail in Oregon, " Just call me Ammo" Bundy will soon be occupying another Federal facility - a Federal Penitentiary somewhere. I doubt, however, that he will be penitent. Others will soon be arrested eventually as well. A very strange and sad story. ** * * * * * * * * Upon hearing the news that Ammon Bundy and others who have been occupying that Oregon Wildlife Refuge have been arrested, ISIS has cancelled a second order of 10,000 Stetson 6X Bar None Fur Felt Western Hats from Shepler' "Even though our guys really like those hats, as soon as I saw the arrests on my Facebook page this evening, I went online and cancelled the order," said ISIS Leader, Abu Bakr Al Bagdhadi. "Besides, those are kind of expensive at over $200 a pop. Given how long it took for the law to arrest those guys, we thought there must be some magical powers in those hats, but if they're not an effective deterrent after all, we don't need them." * * * * * * * * * ** Donald Trump boycotted the Republican debate in Iowa last night. I would emphasize the "boy" in boycott as his mean-spirited temper tantrum against Megyn Kelly continues. I would just remind you that just because Donald Trump is an obnoxious, bigoted, blowhard turd bucket doesn't mean that Megyn Kelly is a good journalist. I do have a suggested question for Ms. Kelly if the Donald does show up: "Mr. Trump, why are you such a dickhead?" Donald also said he could shoot random people on 5th Avenue in New York City and his support would not go down. I suspect this is because many of his supporters would also randomly shoot people on 5th Avenue in New York City. * ** * * * * * * In Omaha news, Mayor Stothert's new snow removal plan includes using big snow plows to keep major streets cleared. Good thinking. * * * * * * * * * * The US Senate voted 50-49 this week that human actions were not a cause of global warming. I guess that clears that up. Here's an Andy Rooney question for you: Why is that the same people who get all worried that windmills will slow down the earth's rotation and that solar panels will drain the energy from the sun can't believe that 500 years of pumping trillions of tons of CO2 into the atmosphere would affect the climate? * * * * * * * * My schadenfreude moment of the week: those two people who made those fake videos about Planned Parenthood just got indicted, in Texas.........and Planned Parenthood was cleared - again. Schadenfreude is taking pleasure in other people's pain. I try to be above that if I can, but in this instance, I have succumbed to the feeling. * * * * * * * Finally, Tom Osborne has saved a lot of kids in his life, but he couldn't save Lawrence Phillips. RIP Lawrence.


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