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A quote from Joseph Heller's Catch-22 captures the Donald Trump campaign very well: “It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.” Seems about right. That Donald Trump now claims he was only pretending to be a jerk-face a-hole all those months pretty much confirms that he is a jerk-face a-hole. And Donald Trump's new approach to persuading delegates seems to be: Vote for me or my people will kill you.* * * * * * * Donald Trump made a foreign policy speech this week and while Trump supporters applauded and cheered loudly, Foreign Affairs experts reacted this way: "Huh?" "WTF?" "Gibberish and nonsense woven together in an incomprehensible patchwork of crazy...." "Ludicrous combination of testosterone nonsense and just plain weird." "My third grade daughter knows where Tanzania is...." "Unbelievable." "Are you kidding me?" "Garbled idiocy." "Contradictory, radical, will destabilize the entire world, nutty." And attempting to mend fences with women unhappy with his remarks about women in general and Hillary Clinton in particular, Donald Trump said, "At least she's not on the rag anymore, as old as she is." * * * * * * * * * Now, Ted Cruz. John Boehner this week said Ted Cruz is "Lucifer" and a "miserable son of a bitch." Nice. John Boehner said that. And in the clearest sign yet that he knows his campaign is doomed, Ted Cruz announced Carly Fiorina as his running mate. She later burst into song when announcing her status as his prospective running mate. It was really, really weird. On the plus side, however, her first action as a prospective Veep running mate was to issue a layoff notice to Ted Cruz. "Dear Mr. Cruz - We regret to inform you that your services are no longer necessary and we are shipping your job to Canada where you came from." * * * * * * * * * * News from North Carolina includes arrests made in restrooms. One was of a lesbian who police said dressed too much like a guy. Another one was a woman who was wrongly suspected of being transgender and got pulled out of a stall by police with her pants down. Way to go North Carolina. Meanwhile, former Speaker of the House, Republican "family values" Denny Hastert was sentenced to 15 months for sexual predation on young boys. * * * * * * * * * * * * Democratic Senators are introducing another bill to allow weapons at the Republican National Convention this summer. "Hey, if the Republicans can vote to repeal Obamacare 75 times, we can keep introducing bills to arm the Republican convention. The Republicans seem to want guns in churches, bars, elementary schools and college dormitories..........so why not at their convention?" * * * * * * * * * ** Target Inc. responded today to Texas Congressional Representative Louis Gohmert's threat to boycott their stores over their LGBTQ restroom policy: "We are pleased to hear that Louis Gohmert may no longer use our restroom facilities. He would leave the seat down and make a tinkle mess every time. He seemed afraid to use the urinals -- not even the low-mounted ones designed for boys and short people. We are tired of cleaning up after him." In the Holy Crap Department, a Koch brother says Hillary Clinton might be a better president than the Republican. He also said Donald Trump's anti-Muslim ideas sounded like Hitler's. Whoa, pardner.........wtf? * * * * * * * * * And finally, an open letter to Republican candidates for President: Just a reminder - you put your hand on the Bible and swear allegiance to the Constitution, not the other way around. Sincerely, Bud Cassiday
2 Comments:
I used to think you made some of this stuff up -- now I know you're not!
Sometimes I do, but I try to make it hard to tell absurdity from reality.
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