Still basking in the great and glorious victories in three consecutive debates and his hit performance at the Al Smith dinner, and seeing a promising electoral map in which he wins by a landslide, Donald Trump is releasing his very detailed plan for his first 100 days today in a speech in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Yeah, that Gettysburg, where Abraham Lincoln delivered his address. First, he says, "I'm going sue all those women who accused me of sexual groping. Second, I'll defeat ISIS, Al quaeda, and the Taliban and take Iraq's oil. Next, I'll fix the immigration system with a beautiful wall which US taxpayers will pay for, but I promise to send the bill to Mexico for reimbursement. Then I'll personally round up 11,000,000 Mexicans and their families and send them home.Believe me if you elect me President, foreigners won't even want to visit much less live here. We're also going to warm up this planet, too. Winters are just too cold. And ever go in the water near San Francisco or Maine? Then, I'll renegotiate every trade deal we have and create 20,000,000 new jobs, balance the budget, start a colony on Mars, cure cancer, pay down the national debt, buy all new nuclear bombs, fix the VA, build all new infrastructure, and Make America Great Again. It'll be tremendous. It'll be yuuuuuge! and bigly." * * * * * * * * * * In other Trump news this week, Donald got booed by priests at the Al Smith Dinner in New York. Booed by priests. His best joke was about his wife Melania - He said, "Michelle Obama delivers a speech at the Democratic Convention and everybody loves it; Melania delivers the exact same speech at the Republican Convention and everybody gets on her case." * * * * * * * * * It turns out I have a better credit rating than Trump does. Even so, I'm thinking of starting a GoFundMe campaign to send Donald to Mars. * * * * * * * * Donald Trump keeps complaining that everything is rigged against him: yeah right. The guy inherits $100 million, loses a billion of other people's money, and gets a tax break for 20 years, then marries a super model. Rigged for sure. * * * * * * * * * In other news Nebraska beat Purdue today 27-14. This has got to be Nebraska's worst 7 - 0 team ever. At least ten wins seems very possible this year. Keep it up Huskers.......
1 Comments:
Hey Bud--The only thing that Donald forgot to mention that he is going to do is make a yuge pie in the sky for everyone. I thought sure he'd say that but he must have forgot bigly.
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