Saturday, August 13, 2016


Donald Trump announced he has formed a new campaign consulting group charged with developing new and imaginative ways to insult key Republican constituent groups. "We've pretty much alienated and offended every other conceivable demographic, so we are targeting our most ardent supporters now," said one member of the new committee. "Obviously, targeting the parents of fallen soldiers was our first giant step in that direction. Dithering on endorsing stalwart Republicans was not nearly as effective, but we still managed to drive out billionaire mega-donor Meg Whitman and a few others. Insulting wounded veterans with that Purple Heart thing was another good start. One high point of our new strategy was kicking out a mother with a crying baby at a rally. If only she had been breast-feeding at the time, it would have been a home run!" * * * * * * * * * Donald Trump on nuclear weapons policy. This is a real transcript of his remarks, not parody. - "Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart—you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you're a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us." * * * * * * * * * * Trump said if Hillary was elected maybe some second amendment people who could remedy the situation. Serious people everywhere gasped. The Secret Service took notice and apparently contacted the Trump campaign. * * * * * * * * * * * The Secret Service announced that it is finding it difficult to recruit agents willing to take a bullet for Donald Trump. "We'll do the best we can, but the guy isn't making it easy," said a spokesperson for the agency. "Normally, this is considered a 'cream of the crop' assignment, protecting candidates for the highest office in the nation, but our best agents are having second thoughts." One agent was heard to say, "Hillary Clinton, sure. Ted Cruz, maybe, Jeb Bush maybe, even that weird Dr. Carson, but Donald Trump? No way." * * * * * * * * Donald Trump claimed today that Adolf Hitler was the illegitimate offspring of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. "Many people are saying that," he replied when asked what evidence he had to back up that claim. * * * * * * * * * * Trump also claimed this week that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama created ISIS.......The next day he said he was just being sarcastic. The next day said he was only partly being sarcastic. * * * * * * * btw, this is my 300th blog entry!


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