"F*** this sh**." - Reince Priebus, Republican National Chairman

Donald Trump today pledged that if he is elected, he will actually read the US Constitution. "I've always thought it was a great book. Right after the Bible, Mein Kampf, and The Art of the Deal," he said. He would not, however, confirm that he would actually serve as President if he won. Republican Party Chairman Reince Priebus threw in the towel today adding his name to a long list of Republicans: "Fu** this sh**. I'm not going to the Republican convention. Donald Trump? Are you kidding me? Nobody even wants to be his vice president except New Gingrich. We might as well run Satan and Hitler on the ticket." * * * * * ** * Trying to put the Star of David controversy behind him, Donald Trump announced that they would from here on use swastikas on all their advertising instead. Donald Trump also announced that the prime time speakers for the convention would be that weird guy from Duck Dynasty who thinks a calendar proves Jesus was the Christ, David Dukes from the KKK, Governor Scott Walker from Wisconsin, and the corpse of Saddam Hussein. "He was great at killing terrorists," Trump said. * * * * * * * * For a fifth day in a row now, Republicans continue to be in shock that Hillary Clinton will not be indicted on charges for crimes they imagined she committed. "Everybody knows she eats live babies for breakfast, for heaven's sake," one Congressional staffer said, "and we can't even get her on emails." * * * * * * * Disappointed that they found no wrongdoing by Secretary Hillary Clinton in the Benghazi investigations, Congressional Republicans announced today they will launch an investigation into why their previous eight Benghazi investigations failed to find Hillary Clinton guilty of any wrongdoing. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * And the spacecraft Juno that traveled 5 years and two billion miles to orbit Jupiter was one second off schedule. Can't these people do anything right? * * * * * * * * Given the police murders of two unarmed black men this week, and then the murders of 5 police in Dallas, I am deeply saddened. We are a nation awash in ignorance, racism, hatred, anger, injustice, violence, and guns. A Shining City on a Hill? Not today. Like Reince said, f*** this sh**.