Thursday, May 05, 2016

Dump Trump

Graffiti artists wrote Dump Trump on grain elevators just north of I-80 in Omaha. Nice to see those elevators being used so well again. I still miss those wonderful art banners. Kudos to those brave artists who did this. But be careful, please. * * * * * * * * * Trump took a lot of heat for tweeting a photo of him eating a taco salad to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. * * * * * * * * America awoke this week to the news that the Republican Party finally died. "First David Bowie and then Prince, and now this," one Republican said in disbelief. "We should have seen it coming." Other Americans, however, were more philosophical. "The Republican Party had suffered enough and is now in a better place. It was sclerotic and had COPD and cancer and could barely move," said one teary-eyed Republican stalwart. "We must go through all the stages of grief before we can move on," said one more dispassionate observer. "Death is a real part of our lives; it's still hard." It's interesting to note that the widely publicized Republican "autopsy" already took place after the last Presidential election and that not a single reform proposed was enacted. "We prescribed certain medications we thought were necessary, but the Republicans just wouldn't take their own medicine, and died." * * * * * * * Donald is said to be searching for a Vice Presidential running mate, "Preferably a good looking woman with big boobs," one of his aides said privately. Former unsuccessful Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin was seen this week sneaking into a Hollywood breast enhancement clinic hoping to improve her chances of being tapped as a running mate by Donald Trump. "Hey, it can't hurt," she was heard to say. * * * * * * * * * * Carly Fiorina was in tears tonight upon hearing Ted Cruz was dropping out of the race. "I was so close to being Vice President," she said. "One heartbeat away." * * * * * * * * * Ted Cruz said he was returning to his home country of birth, Canada, to run for Prime Minister. "The US can suck my Canadian d***," he said. * * * * * * * And speaking of that, the redesigned redesign of the Nebraska license plate was made public this week and it no longer looks like the guy took an overdose of Viagra and needs to see a doctor. * * * * * * * * Satan tonight expressed his pleasure that Ted Cruz dropped out of the Presidential race. "I have never been so insulted as when John Boehner called Ted Cruz 'Lucifer'", Satan said this week.
"I have maintained and still maintain that Donald Trump is far more like me than Ted Cruz. Sure Cruz is a world class sleazebag, but Trump ........Trump .......even Ted Cruz called Donald Trump 'utterly immoral' and a pathological liar. Just yesterday, Donald Trump was claiming that Ted Cruz' father had something to do with the assassination of President Kennedy. I mean, the guy is pure evil. My money's on Trump," said the Prince of Darkness. * * * * * * * * House Speaker Paul Ryan announced the big Republican health insurance alternative to Obamacare is to reinstate the pre-existing condition disqualification. Some plan. And it took them seven years to come up with that.


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