Thursday, June 30, 2016

Odds and Ends

Having found no wrong-doing by Hillary Clinton in the Benghazi investigation, Congressional Republican Trey Gowdy announced today he will begin investigating Hillary Clinton's role in the death of Abraham Lincoln, the fall of the Roman Empire, and the mass extinction of dinosaurs which occurred 65 million years ago. "She did nothing to prevent these events," he said. "We want to know: why not? Furthermore, in all the emails she has released, there is not one single email in regard to these above issues. Can you say coverup? I guarantee you President Obama's Justice Department would never investigate this." * * * * * * * * * Dear England: You Brexit; you bought it. I don't understand parliamentary democracy. Things go haywire; everybody resigns. Here, they go to jail. Or they become lobbyists. Or they get re-elected. Or they run for President. Some Scots comment on Donald Trump: "Bloviating flesh bag"; "mangled apricot hellbeast"; "clueless numpty"; "weapons-grade plum,""... you tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon," "... you leather faced, shit-tobogonist," and, of course ... "Ignorant piece of failed rotten haggis"* * * * * * * * If Texas voted to leave the United States, the stock market would probably go up. * * * * * * * George Will can be a pompous dick at times, but he's left the Republican party so I'm cutting him some slack. * * * * * * * * I'm usually critical of Congress for sitting around on their asses, but in the case of the Dems sit-in last week, I'm making an exception! Good going Dems. Keep it up.To hear the Republicans, one of whose members read "Green Eggs and Ham" on the floor of the US Senate and another who thought a holding snow ball disproved global warming, complain about a sit-in as a publicity stunt was rather amusing. * * * * * * * Republicans are trying to stop the Pentagon from determining how global warming will affect national defense strategies. * * * * * * * Addressing an evangelical conference today, Donald Trump accused Hillary Clinton of being a Methodist. "Most Americans don't even know what Methodism is. This is not even an American religion like Christianity," Trump said. "This came from England and John Wesley. Distinguishing Methodist doctrines include Christian perfection, an assurance of salvation, the priesthood of all believers, the primacy of scripture and works of piety. Methodism also emphasizes "social holiness", missionary zeal, charity, and service to the poor and vulnerable.These ideals are put into practice by the establishment of hospitals, universities, orphanages, soup kitchens, and schools to follow Jesus Christ's command to spread the Good News and serve all people," Trump said. "This is not what America is about. Piety my ass," he said.* * * * * * * * Best line of the week: Hillary Clinton acknowledged that Donald Trump has written several books about his business acumen. "But they all end at Chapter 11," she said. BOOM.


Blogger marilyncoffey said...


6:26 PM  
Blogger Mary Campbell said...

This isn't fair, Bud. The entire world is conspiring to make itself ridiculous. Nothing you make up will be half as nutsy as reality. If you want to stand out, you'll have to write actual stuff. Where's the justice in that? But don't stop! We'll get back to normal craziness any day now, I'm sure of it.

6:12 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home