Friday, August 26, 2016

The Importance of Peanutbutter-covered Cinnamon Swirl Raisin Bread

Donald Trump appeared to waffle on immigration deportation this week claiming he was both softening and hardening his position. One of his spokespersons said he was saying the same thing, he was just using "different words." As a result, some of his supporters threatened to kill him. * * * * * * * * More weird Donald Trump stuff. Hillary Clinton gave a speech calling Trump a racist. No Republicans came to his defense. * * * * * * * * * Turns out I might have more net worth than Trump. * * * * * * * * * I read a report that said Michelle Bachmann is giving Donald Trump foreign policy advice. That's something like a potato giving advice to a tree stump. * * * * * * * * Donald Trump yesterday accused Hillary Clinton of being mortal. "She's going to die, you know," Trump said. "Sooner or later. 100% chance. You should vote for me instead." * * * * * * * * * Donald Trump says he "wants to debate very badly." My guess is he will. * * * * * * * * * * Donald Trump convened an emergency meeting this morning with his top advisors to best determine how not to take advantage of all the issues with Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Foundation being reported. "We know it's like manna from heaven, but we are quite sure we can figure out a way to blow this. Maybe we'll have Donald praise President Obama's deportation record. Maybe we'll raise the rent on the Trump Towers office space Donald rents to the campaign. Maybe we'll have Donald ask for black voters in front of all white audiences. Maybe we'll have Donald spend $55,000 of the campaign's money to buy his own book from Barnes and Noble. Stay tuned. We'll come up with something." * * * * * * * Turns out that while Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton met three times with Muhammad Yunus, “a Bangladeshi economist who won the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize for pioneering low-interest ‘microcredit’ for poor business owners.” Outraged Republicans vow to fight. * * * * * * * * * Ben Carson called Donald Trump "elderly" yesterday and said he should he should release his medical records.* * * * * * * * French presidential candidate Nicolas Sarkosy says if he is elected, Muslim women will be required to go topless on all French beaches. * * * * * * * * * * On a personal note, this happened to me the other night and I have recorded my feelings in this matter: Oh man. I just walked downstairs with my peanut-buttered piece of cinnamon swirl raisin bread toast and realized I left my glass of milk upstairs. Dilemma - if I go back up to get the milk, then the temperature of the raisin bread toast will have fallen in the 20 seconds it takes to go back up and down the stairs. But if I eat the raisin bread now, I'll have to delay the drink of cold milk that is so perfect after a bite of peanut buttered raisin bread toast, thus delaying my gratification. I know what you are thinking: first world problem. Nevertheless, I've learned my lesson, am going upstairs now, having eaten my cinnamon swirl raisin bread toast, for a cold glass of milk. Then on to band practice. When I get back home, I'll try it again. Some days are just harder than others.


Blogger Mary Campbell said...

Have you had this experience: Snacking on, say, jalapeno poppers while reading the newspaper? You started out with 6 poppers, and, though you're not counting them per se, your mind just KNOWS how many poppers are left, even though you're mostly concentrating on the newspaper; and you reach for the one last popper that you KNOW is there, and it's GONE! Your brain, your mouth, and your taste buds are primed for that last popper, and you experience this strange, unsatisfied sensation? So what's that called, anyway? I know there's a name for that particular sensory and gastric deprivation. If there isn't, there should be.

8:17 PM  

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