The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming!

I liked that 1966 movie in which a Russian submarine runs aground off New England causing panic among the local villagers. A hodge podge group of locals dressed in their WW II uniforms armed with muskets and swords is ready to defend their village and go to war. Alan Arkin, Carl Reiner, and Eva Marie Saint starred in this movie and by sheer luck, human kindness prevails over cold war mentality, and a major international confrontation is avoided. * * * * * * * * * So the thing is in this politics of the absurd playing out in front of us is J. Lord Dampnut and his campaign cronies conspired with Russia and the FBI to influence the US Presidential election and then tried to cover it up. This cover up is unraveling at an increasing pace this week. * * * * * * * * * It turns out that Attorney General Jeff Sessions used campaign funds to travel to a city to meet with the Russian Ambassador- "I did not have sexual relations with that man, the Russian Ambassador." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *Here's a simple guide to understanding the Russia controversies: Trump and his campaign conspired with the FBI and Russia to influence the election in Trump's favor. Why would he do this? He's hundreds of million in debt to the Russian mob and cut a $500 billion deal with Putin, owner of Russia's largest oil company, and Exxon Oil to lift sanctions, enrich Putin, himself, and Tillerson, former Exxon CEO and the new Secretary of State, protect himself from the Russian mob, and continue his Russian money laundering operation. Crimea doesn't matter; Ukraine doesn't matter. His entire campaign staff met with Russians regularly, every day, all the time, 24/7. Russian diplomats, by the way, are dropping dead all over the globe over the last month. Probably just a coincidence. Another thing to keep in mind is that J. Lord Dampnut lies about everything, all the time, everywhere, no matter how trivial or important the thing is. * * * * * * * * * J. Lord Dampnut today accused former President of performing an illegal brain scan on him at Trump Tower. "They found nothing," J. Lord said. "They found nothing in Melania or my children either." * * * * * * * * *

Dumbest thing said by J. Lord Dampnut this week: "Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.” Dude - we all knew it, you ridiculous bagwumple fart.* * * * * * * * * J. Lord Dampnut says 94,000,000 Americans are out of the work force. He has a plan to put about half of them back to work: cut their Social Security and Medicare. "Deporting 12 million illegal Mexicans will open up a lot of fruit/vegetable picking jobs, fast food jobs, landscape work, and day labor which our senior citizens can do," he said. "Most grandmothers know how to cook." * * * * * * * * * * * I'm reading J. Lord Dampnut's litany of the horrors he inherited from the former President: ISIS on the decline, record stock market, 4.8% unemployment, 20 million new Americans with health insurance, zero net immigration, budget deficits on the decline. Compared to what President Obama inherited from George W. Bush, J. Lord Dampnut inherited a fortune. Oh wait, he did -- from his dad. * * * * * * * * * New Republican slogan being market tested: "Republicans - Making Billionaires Rich Again." Apparently, it tests well with the top one/tenth of one percent.* * * * * * * * * * * The image of Trump supporters waving Russian flags at a pro-Trump rally was in the news this week. Apparently, the audience was tricked by anti-Trump operatives who handed out the flags. Oops. * * * * * * * * In other strange technology news this week: My computer notified me the other night that there were no new notifications. Go figure.