Too Many Frogs and The Politics of the Absurd

So J. Lord Dampnut conspired with Russia and the FBI to smear Hillary Clinton and get his sorry ass elected as President of the United States. J. Lord Dampnut owes perhaps billions to the Russian mob and the entire administration is vulnerable to Russian blackmail. Other than that, things are looking up. Back in the good old days, a foreign country and the FBI conspiring with a presidential candidate to steal an election was a bad thing............to the current Republican Congress, not so much now. * * * * * * * * * J. Lord Dampnut vowed this week to ferret out White House staffers who are leaking evidence of Russian influence in the administration. * * * * * * * * * Trying to make sense of absurdity was a growth industry in the 20th century. That literature has warned us of J. Lord Dampnut: Ionesco's "Rhinoceros," Heller's "Catch-22," Kafka's "The Trial," Orwell's "1984," Kesey's "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," the works of Vonnegut, Camus, Beckett, Ginsberg.........The literature of the absurd now has become the politics of the absurd with "fake news" being generated by a president who claims it is others who are creating fake news. My rule of thumb is if this president accuses someone of something, he is doing it ten times over himself...... This rule has stood the test of time. * * * * * * * * * * The Russian connection continues to manifest itself: both oil pipelines profit Russian steel, the Secretary of Exxon State has a several $ billion dollar oil drilling deal with Russia once the sanctions are lifted. Michael Flynn, National Security Advisor for several weeks before getting fired, is heavily invested in removing the sanctions of said oil deal.* * * * * * * * * A Russian naval cruiser is moving up and down the Atlantic Coast just outside US waters -- my theory is that they are preparing to evacuate the White House just in case. * * * * * * * *It is worth noting that Vice-Admiral Robert Harward, J. Lord Dampnut's choice to replace fired National Security Advisor Michael Flynn turned down the job offer and said something about a "shit sandwich." * * * * * * * * * In a cost-savings move today, J. Lord Dampnut proposed eliminating the entire US Intelligence apparatus. "I already get most of my information from Russian Secret Police anyway, so why all the duplication? We can save tremendously if we outsource. We'll save billions," Dampnut said. * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * In other news this week: Saying there are just too damn many species, J. Lord Dampnut wants to change the name of the Endangered Species Act to The Elimination of Redundant Species Act. "There are thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, of species we haven't even discovered yet, so what's the big deal? Nobody will miss some frog somewhere -- there are like 5,000 species of frogs. We're going to do the same thing I'm doing with government regulations: for every new species discovered, we are going to eliminate two. It's like government -- some downsizing is in order." * * * * * * * * * *As a rule, the person who tells you they are the least racist person you will ever meet, isn't. * * * * * * * J. Lord Dampnut claimed he "inherited a mess" from President Obama at yesterday's press conference of the absurd. As Colbert pointed out, the only thing J. Lord Dampnut "inherited" was a $100,000,000 fortune. J. Lord Dampnut releases statement regarding his third weekend in a row at his Florida golf resort: "It's party time!"