Monday, April 16, 2012

Monday Morning Thoughts on the Week Gone By

Re. Colombian prostitute scandal - turns out the Secret Service thought it was on spring break. And having House Republicans investigate Colombian hookers and the Secret Service is a good idea......they have a great deal of experience.............. On the North Korean exploding rocket - Five days after rocket launch flew 80 seconds and then blew up and fell into the ocean, North Korea is still celebrating their new flight record. "That's the longest flight we've ever had," said the new North Korean official in charge of rockets. "I only wish my predecessor was still alive to enjoy the parade." "Best fireworks we ever had," said the new director of the North Korean University of 1940's technology. "I only wish my predecessor was still alive to enjoy the parade." I might point out, too, that a North Korean rocket scientist and an Iranian nuclear physicist have about the same life expectancy............... Mitt and Ann Romney continue to revel in the ill-advised words of heretofore unknown Hilary Rosen. "It was an early birthday present," cooed Ann. Mitt had to clarify his various positions on stay-at-home moms, though: "I am strongly in favor of wealthy women, like my Ann, if they want, to stay at home and manage the various estates we have and oversee the staff of housekeepers, yard workers, and nannies without whom she could not have done such a fine job of raising my five sons. But for poor or single moms who need government help, they need to buck up and find a job because we cut their welfare. And don't think we'll be paying for their birth control, either." FOX NEWS is now in its eighth straight day of breathless continuous 24/7 coverage of the Hilary Rosen comment ..................... Regarding his international credentials, Mitt Romney reminds us that although he can't see Russia from his porch, he does have large amounts of money in Swiss banks, the Cayman Islands, and other undisclosed foreign locations, has personally sent thousands of jobs overseas, has fired illegal immigrant yard workers at one of his many houses, and speaks French....In trying to shore up his appeal to women, fundamentalist Christians, and Hispanic voters, Mitt Romney reminds us that his Mormon great grandfather had 5 wives and lived in Mexico............. In Arizona, trying to one-up anti-abortion forces everywhere, the Governor signed a bill prohibiting abortions after 20 weeks, in which women are declared pregnant before they have sex............... About Allen West's claim that 80 Democrats in the US House of Representatives are registered Communists: the Communist Part of the USA denies this accusation and says it is insulted that they would be tarnished in this way. "It's a cheap shot to claim we have members in Congress," said a communist spokesperson. "It's guilt by association." A recent Rasmussen poll appears to corroborate this indignation in that the Communist Party of the USA is polling at an 11% approval rating while the US Congress has a 9% approval rating..................... And finally, a reminder of Republican political strategy developed at the end of the Bush Presidential disaster: "Let's hand the next President an economy in free fall, a corrupt and collapsing financial system, a trillion dollar annual budget deficit, and two failing wars. Then we'll fight everything he does to try to fix the total catastrophe we created, weaken every effort made to fix the shattered economy, attack everything about him and his policies, rewrite history, and just make sh** up. Better yet, we'll create a phony grass roots group organized and paid for by the Koch brothers and their corporations and bus them around and have them wear goofy clothes. No matter what the President wants to do we'll call it 'socialist' or 'liberal' or 'big government' even if it's our idea! That'll confound them. We'll blame him for stuff that Bush did -- like TARP. People won't know the difference. Then when the next campaign comes along, we'll complain that he hasn't done enough. People have such short memories, they might just put us back in office. Okay, that's our plan. We'll promise to do all the things that got us into this mess in the first place - voters won't even notice. And finally, let's supress the vote of all the people who might be expected to vote Democratic: the elderly, all minorities, students. We'll claim the prevalence of voter fraud, gerrymander as many Congressional district lines as we can get away with, and mount a enormous voter disinformation campaign. Let's go do it."


Blogger Greg Kosmicki said...

Aw Bud! You're so cynical. Jeez!

11:49 AM  
Blogger Jane D. said...

You gotta give the Republicans some credit Bud - reading the papers and watching TV wouldn't be half as funny (or infuriating, depending on the day) without them - and besides you wouldn't have such great material for your blog posts if they didn't hand it to you on a silver platter!!

1:13 PM  

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