Sequester Break

The way things have been going lately, you'd think Mitt Romney won. The Sequester happened. The Sequester was supposed to be so devastating in its impact that no Congress in its right mind would let it happen. "Sure, I know children, veterans, seniors, and the disabled will all be hurt by the sequester," House Republican Leader John Boehner said today, "but that's not important. The important thing is we kept all the tax breaks and loopholes for millionaires and oil companies intact." I think President Obama misjudged the Republicans on this one. They're crazier than we thought. The CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) invited a roster of losers and shunned their most popular Governor, Chris Christie. Donald Trump was given a podium for a speech -- Donald Trump. Sarah Palin. Budget cuts, downsizing, furloughs, layoffs, no more White House tours. But now it's Sequester Break. Thank God it's time for Sequester Break. But now, colleges are closed for a week and all those kids headed to Florida and Mexico. Just remember what Dean Wormer said: "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son." Just ask Newt Gingrich. ............................................................................................................... Al Quaida, though, announced it will be downsizing due to the Sequester. "These budget cuts are hitting us hard. And with all the early retirements we've had lately in our leadership structure, we are having to do more with less, and it's just hard. We are considering lowering our entry requirements and enacting a Don't Ask Don't Tell policy to widen the net," a spokesperson said. "We do, however, oppose President Obama's decision to argue against the Defense of Marriage Act." On the subject of possible strategies to deal with the budget cutting, "We've looked into outsourcing and off-shoring, but the income tax rates in most foreign countries are considerably higher than Yemen and Somalia, although we are looking at South Dakota." ............................................................................................................. In a filibuster that I'm still trying to get my head around, Senator Rand Paul, appeared to have the high moral ground on a hypothetical question he sent to Attorney General, Eric Holder. Before clarifying his answer to say that no, the United States does not have the right to used militarized drone attacks on US citizens on US soil, he left enough ambiguity in his answer that Rand Paul drove his filibuster truck right through it. Ostensibly to protest the nomination of John Brennan, the filibuster was used by Rand Paul to demagogue and dissemble and pontificate (oh, wait, that's next paragraph) for 13 hours. Displaying heroic bladder control and spewing epic nonsense, he delayed the vote on John Brennan for those 13 hours before the Senate then voted to confirm him as head of the CIA by a vote of 63 to 34. John McCain and Lindsay Graham called Rand Paul ridiculous and wrong. ............................................................................................................................... And speaking of pontificating, the Vatican held its first Gay Pride event on Thursday with an undisclosed number of priests attending. In another development, a cabal of gay priests were thwarted from releasing rainbow colored smoke upon the selection of the new pope who could very well be named Jesus. That would be something. The Vatican fear that gay priests will make the pedophiles look bad is probably right. ......................................................................................................................... A week after former NBA star and strange human being, Dennis Rodman, visited North Korea and made nice with Kim Jong un, the North Korean leader scrapped its peace treaty with South Korea and threatened to launch a nuclear strike against the US. This could affect Kim Jong un's life dream to play point guard for the Harlem Globetrotters. We'll see. ......................................................................................................................... Hugo Chavez died of a heart attack after months of treatment for cancer in Cuba. The Venezuelan vice president blamed the United States. I don't know what to say about that. ............................................................................................ Later, Bud