North Korea Responds

North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un responded today to US Secretary of State John Kerrey's offer to open multi-lateral talks with several East Asian Countries. Supreme Leader Kim Jong -un said North Korea is willing to talk provided that the US makes certain concessions including: Kim Jong-un said he wants lifetime membership to the National Rifle Association. "The NRA has managed to turn a massacre of young children into a call for more weapons in schools. That takes chutzpa. That Wayne LaPierre is one crazy motherf*****," Kim said. "He's my kind of guy." Second, "We want Walmart to open a franchise in Pyongyang so we will have the same access to modern military style assault weapons and ammunition as have dozens of mass-killers in suburban neighborhoods in the US. We are tired of receiving China's leftover weapons." "Third," he went one, "I want a membership to Augusta National Golf Course and 18 holes of golf with Condoleezza Rice, Dennis Rodman, and Donald Trump. Mr. Trump reminds me so much of my dad. I also want a lifetime free supply of Kellogg's Sugar Frosted Flakes. They're Gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa ttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!! And finally, I also want a trip to Disneyland and a subscription to Cosmopolitan magazine." US officials are studying the proposal and declined to comment.