Ten Minute Waiting Period

House Republicans have suggested a new question for the background check legislation should the Senate legislation working its way forward actually pass. The new background check will have just one question for the prospective military assault weapon gun buyer: "Are you planning a massacre of children?" If you answer in the affirmative, then you will need to specify where and when such massacre will take place, and then wait ten minutes, after which time you may proceed to purchase the weapon and all the necessary ammo. House Republican Speaker Boehner said, "Although we are opposed to waiting periods entirely, this ten minute waiting period for mass murderers should pass constitutional muster and is a reasonable compromise, and more importantly, we believe will meet with the approval of the NRA." The NRA believes that the above proposal is in confomance with its proposals, and that armed school janitors should then be contacted on the morning of the planned massacres. "We are still working out the details of who does the phone call to the janitors," Wayne LaPierre said today, "but believe this is a significant step forward. Ideally, the perpetrator of the massacre would give a heads up to the janitorial staff. But, you know, they are not reliable." If you answer in the negative, of course, then you may proceed to purchase the weapon immediately. In neither case, will permanent records be kept.