Wednesday, December 11, 2013

John Boehner is One Millionth Obamacare Customer!

Breaking News: The White House announced today that House Republican Speaker John Boehner was the one millionth person to sign up for Obamacare. "Are you kidding me?" Boehner said. "What were the odds of that? I've never won anything in my whole f****** life. Why couldn't it be Publishers Clearing House or Reader's Digest?" he wondered after being notified he had won the Obamacare One Millionth Person to Sign Up prize. "What did I win? I hope it's something good. It had better not be a free trip to Washington D.C. I'm sick of this f****** place." The he mused, "First, the Tea Party, then Obama wins reelection in a modern day landslide, then we did 45 or 46 votes to repeal Obamcare all for nothing, then the Government shutdown, and Obamacare is still here, and then I successfully signed up and I'll be damned if I didn't even save some money, and now this. It's been a difficult year." Tears began to well up in his eyes. "I'm ready to go home for Christmas." A very awkward award ceremony is being planned for later today as of this writing. Republican Daryl Issa, Chairman of the House Oversight Committee, is demanding an investigation. "It's hard to believe a million people have signed up after all the roadblocks we put in the way. We've sabotaged this at every opportunity, set up phony websites, blocked everything we could, spread rumors and lies, and John Boehner is the millionth customer? Something just isn't right here." I finally called the help line again and a very helpful fellow overrode the computer errors which had blocked my application for the health insurance marketplace and I was able to sign up for a BlueCross/BlueShield plan starting Jan. 1 at a substantial savings! Yay, Obamacare!


Post a Comment

<< Home