Sunday, December 15, 2013

NRA issues special commorative edition Newtown Sandy Hook School AR-15 assault rifle with 26 round capacity magazine

The National Rifle Association this last week announced that it would be sponsoring a special NRA Newtown Limited Edition AR-15 assault rifle with a 26 round capacity magazine. "What better way to memorialize the deaths of those 26 innocent people in Sandy Hook school?" asked chief gun industry lobbyist Wayne LaPierre. "This will be a limited edition of only 26,000,000 manufactured, and we expect them to sell out quickly. I should add that for every $1,000 of profit from this run, we will donate ten cents for local mental health programs." ************************************************** Kim Jong Un has finally gone public regarding the reason for the execution of his uncle in North Korea: "Obamacare." ***************************************************************** Breaking News on my Obamacare approval: today I received a notice that I am to report next Monday at 10 am for the mandatory implantation of the microchip in my brain. My friend Tom informed me today in church that he has been appointed to the Nebraska Obamacare Death Panel. That's just great. The only part of Obamacare that Nebraskia Governor Heineman is going along with is the Death Panel. ************************************************************* Meanwhile, the white Santa controversy generated by Fox News Megyn Kelly, keeps on churning. Be advised black Santas: if George Zimmerman is on your delivery route come Christmas Eve, I think I'd pass if I were you. George Zimmerman commented on the Megyn Kelly Fox News controversy on whether Santa Claus can be black: "Any black Santas better stay the f*** off my roof if they want to see New Year's."


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