Friday, March 14, 2014

Francisco Franco is still dead......and other stories.

Let's see if I have this right here: Republicans, the same people who for five years now have called President Obama a Kenyan born, Muslim, socialist, atheist, anti-christ, communist, jihadist traitor, tyrant, dictator, sub-human mongrel, who hates Christians, and wants America to fail, are claiming that he is undermining the dignity of the presidency by advocating for the ACA in a comedic interview with Zach Galifianakis on Between Two Ferns....... Um, okay. *********************** Breaking News: 24/7 coverage about speculation about the whereabouts of the Malaysian 777 airplane continues today on all cable news channels. The latest speculation is that the Russian KGB and the CIA jointly hijacked that Malaysian airplane and crashed it into those two buildings in Harlem in order to divert attention from scandals involving the Russian invasion of Crimea, the CIA's spying on the Senate committee that oversees the CIA, Fast and Furious, Benghazi, the IRS, and of course, Obamacare.******************************** Republicans appear to have gone silent on the one actual real life scandal in the last five years - CIA accessing Senate computers removing evidence of a coverup of torture wrongdoing. For all the scandal mongering they've engaged in, you'd think they'd be all over this. But nooooooooooooo....might possibly be because the torture done was during the GW Bush years.********************* What's the world's largest musical instrument? The Matterhorn! ************************** It was disturbing how fast Ukraine fell apart and lost Crimea; it was like a massive Russian military flash mob ballet suddenly appeared and Crimea was the ballet dancer leaping into Mikhail Baryshnikov's (Kalashnikov) arms and then the curtain dropped. And there was nothing anybody could do to stop it.**************************** Summary of Rand Paul's speech to CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference)last week: "You think I'm crazy? Wait til Ted Cruz opens his mouth." Summary of Sarah Palin's speech: "Buy guns."

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

For Crimean Out Loud

I'm on quarter break from Metro College this week and have been taking it somewhat easy: stretching and priming some canvases, playing music, doing a few sketches, reading the new class textbook I'll be using next week, enjoying some favorite movies (The Fifth Element, Taken 2, Star Trek 1 thru 15, Oblivion, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 50 First Dates, Blade Runner, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and a few others), bought a few "new" neckties at local thrift shops, taking regular walks with my traveling companion -- you know the big, fat, stupid, lazy, good-for-nothing, bum dog --, and commenting on the latest ridiculousness to come out of our current crop of corrupt, venal, arrogant, plutocratic, narcissistic politicians........... And it's only Wednesday. If it warms up enough, I'll go play some golf.************************ Americans, who couldn't find Crimea or Ukraine on a map if you paid them a dollar, are now trying to decide whether the United States has any vital interest threatened by the dispute. Republicans, who pretty much yawned with Russia invaded Georgia in 2008, have their panties in a bunch over this one, mostly because it's a way to attack President Obama. But it's combined with a bizarre cult hero worship of Putin. Sarah Palin virtually swooned as she described Putin's bare-chested, bear wrestling, gun-toting ways. I thought she was going to have an orgasm. John McCain, in his shrill whiny and bitter voice ranted unintelligibly about a paper Barack Obama wrote in college or something. Republicans demand action: if George W. Bush was President, he'd have carpet-bombed New Zealand by now. Michele Bachmann will hold a congressional hearing to investigate whether it's Ukraine, or "the" Ukraine. ******************************On military spending: Congressional Republicans slashed defense spending on their sequester vote last year; Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel asks for more than Congress approved; and then Republicans accuse Hagel and President Obama of cutting defense spending. Washington Republican hypocrisy at work.......And now that Russia has invaded Ukraine, the posturing is even worse. It's been really weird watching Republicans swoon over and praise Vladimir Putin the last few days. Decisive, a leader, bold, charismatic, a man of action. I've heard all this.....Rudy Giuliani and a few others clearly have a man crush. And the chorus of criticism about President Obama has been petty and premature and really disgusting. If only Obama were more like Putin. There's a Republican cult of authoritarianism envy that's really alarming. ************************ Republicans are dusting off their too soon, too late, too little, too much, too fast, too slow, too small, too big line of criticism of President Obama. "This has been our most effective tool in criticizing US foreign policy," said a spokesperson who would not agree to be identified, "as well as just about everything else. It saves us from making any constructive suggestions or taking any responsibility." *********************** I wrote up all this stuff about Arizona, but it's all been superseded by the Russian invasion of Ukraine. But here goes anyway: The NFL announced today that the Super Bowl will be held in Arizona next year after all and that as a direct result of Governor Brewer's veto of LB 1062, they will hold a special all-gay exhibition football game in Arizona on the Saturday before the Big Game. "We are finding there enough gays in the NFL in all positions to hold this special game next year and are excited about this event." Governor Jan Brewer declined to comment. With the veto of LB 1062, The Religious Freedom Act, Governor Jan Brewer has now mobilized the Arizona National Guard to begin prohibiting the partaking of communion in all Catholic and Protestant churches across the state, shortening Sunday religious services across all denominational lines, reducing the number of worship sites, and curtailing early worship. "We have found evidence of rampant worship abuse and alcohol in churches," said a government spokesperson. "A standardized worship service length of 45 minutes will now be enforced to be held only on Sunday morning. We have found a wide variation of worship practices and will be introducing legislation to standardize worship procedures in all cases. In some cases, people were actually bused to places of worship. Some people were actually worshiping on Saturdays or multiple times every day. These practices are particularly disturbing and so we will be discontinuing them. Finally, the number of worship sites will be reduced." Witness have already reported the rumbling of Arizona National Guard bulldozers in the streets. Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona, weighed in on Governor Brewer's veto of LB 1062 the Religious Freedom Act: "First of all, nobody was fooled by the name of the bill. It had nothing to do with religious freedom. And the whole thing has been a distraction to Arizona. I just look forward to going out and arresting Mexicans again. This whole episode put Arizona in a difficult position. It has always been legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians in Arizona. They can be fired for no reason in almost all cases. I say if it ain't broke; don't fix it. This whole episode has been a set back to the many Arizonans I know who quietly went about their business of discriminating against gays and lesbians. Many Arizonans I know just look forward to the day when they can go back to firing gays and lesbians without all the media attention." ************************** Afghanistan: When I see Afghan President Karzai complaining about the American presence in Afghanistan, my first reaction is why don't you go pound some Afghan sand up your incompetent, arrogant ass**** with a big f****** hammer. The American presence, for better or worse, is the only thing keeping you and your drug dealing cronies' empire in power. That is also my second, third, and fourth reaction as well. ************************** Obamacare - Four million Americans now have purchased private insurance on the ACA exchanges; outraged Republicans, who were not all that outraged when forty million Americans had no insurance, who have not been outraged that Republican Governors are blocking extending Medicaid to cover many of those, but who were outraged in November when people could not purchase plans on the websites, and then were outraged when the website was fixed, and were outraged a couple of months ago when some Americans lost their substandard health policies, are now not outraged that Republicans now vow to take all these new health insurance policies away, which, ironically enough, include about 95% of those who lost their old more expensive policies a few weeks ago and were able to find better less expensive policies through Obamacare. The selective outrage is outrageous.************************************ Republican supporters of Chris Christie for President in 2016 are beginning to realize his chances may hinge on his getting a short prison sentence.