Saturday, July 25, 2015

Donald Trump - Special Edition

The latest joke about hotel magnate Donald Trump is the reason he attacked John McCain for not being a genuine war hero was because John spent so many years as a prisoner of war not at a Trump hotel, but at the Hanoi Hilton. * * * * * * * In Donald Trump, it must be said, pompous, arrogant, ignorant, blowhard billionaires have finally found a voice........* * * * * * * * Lindsey Graham, US Senator from South Carolina and Republican running for President, called Donald Trump a "jackass." Trump called Graham a "lightweight....idiot." It's good to see politics finally climbing above the usual ad hominem name-calling. * * * * * * Rick Perry, another Republican candidate for President on trial for felony "abuse of power," called Trump a "cancer on conservatism." Trump suggested Perry should have to take an IQ test in order to run for President. That actually might be a good idea for the whole bunch of them. * * * * * * * * Iran, North Korea, ISIS, Syria, and a handful of African countries all pledged today to become Western style democracies with freedom of the press and religion, to dismantle all their nuclear programs, and stop funding every outside militant group throughout the world they currently fund if only the Republicans don't nominate Donald Trump. "That guy's f****** crazy. He's as looney as some of our ayatollahs," said one mullah who wished to remain anonymous. "You never know what ridiculous thing they're going to want to do next." * * * * * * * * * In a bold move, reminiscent of Barack Obama's surprise visits to Afghanistan early in his first term of office, Donald Trump visited Laredo, Texas, a war-zone in itself with Operation Jade Helm full underway. Texas, under siege from both Mexico and the United States, in in a perilous situation. * * * * * * * * Another Republican candidate, Jeb Bush, suggested today that all old people should just be thrown off Medicare and allowed to die peacefully in their homes. "It's the only humane thing to do rather than prolonging their lives year after year after year after year. People live too long now, and it's our own fault with all this medicine and hospitals and health insurance and stuff." Donald Trump agreed saying, "Old people who get sick are losers. I like winners." * * * * * * * In the biggest news of the week, Donald Trump announced he has chosen Dennis Rodman as his vice-presidential running mate. "He's a winner," said Trump. "And he's got way more foreign policy experience than I do. The only thing John McCain ever did right was pick Sarah Palin for his vice-presidential running mate. I have picked Dennis with this in mind. "

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

On Golf and Golfing - The Five Stages of Grief

“On Golf and Golfing –The Five Stages of Grief” * * * * * * * Being only vaguely familiar with Swiss psychiatrist Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief as described in On Death and Dying won’t stop me from suggesting that in golf, there are the same five stages of grief after a bad round of golf. * * * * * * * Denial – I can’t believe I shanked that ball into the water. I can’t believe I hit that drive out of bounds. I can’t believe I still play this game. I can’t believe you made that 45 foot breaking putt. These greens suck. These fairways are terrible. These clubs are too old. I need a new three wood. * * * * * * * Anger –Broken clubs are a not totally uncommon sight in the small steel mesh trash bins found next to the ball washers on each tee box. Loud curses of “F***,” “Son of a b****,” “God d*** it,” “Sh**,” are all too often heard on golf courses, especially if Tiger Woods is playing. I’ve personally seen players, ordinarily sane and rational people, break clubs on trees, fence posts, concrete cart paths, and over knees. I’ve seen entire bags of clubs thrown into ponds. Anger is stage two. Rory McIlroy threw his 3 iron into a pond at the Doral, Florida in March of this year. Tommy Bolt, Sergio Garcia, Craig Stadler, John Daly, Henrik Stensen, Colin Montgomerie, all professional golfers, have broken more than one club smashing it into the ground, over a knee, or tree during a round of golf……..* * * * * * * * Bargaining – Please God, let me break 80 today. Please God, let me make this putt and I’ll never play on a Sunday morning again….. “Well, at least it’s good exercise,” we say as we make bogey after bogey after bogey. Or "A bad day on the golf course is better than a good day at the office." * * * * * * * * Depression – Feelings of emptiness then intrude when we shoot a 92 or miss that 4 footer for a 79. A realization that we may never have another good round of golf is accompanied by a deep and abiding sadness. The feeling that you’ll never play again is common. * * * * * * * Acceptance – But in a day or two, one accepts the new reality embodied in that last round and gets back to living life. In fact, we most often begin to enjoy life again. And then before you know it, you’re on the phone to Shoreline or Benson to get a Friday afternoon tee time……….and actually look forward to it all over again.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Pluto, Iran, and Donald Trump

Traveling almost 5 billion miles over nine years, the New Horizons spacecraft sends back best photo of Pluto ever.........This was the speediest spacecraft ever launched, traveling the equivalent of New York to LA every five minutes -- for nine years. Pluto, before it was demoted from "planet" status to "dwarf planet" status, was the only planet discovered by an American. Most of the other planets were seen by our most ancient African ancestors in the night sky. Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto were discovered in 1781, 1846, and 1930. * * * * * * Violence erupted at this week's White House press conference when President Barack Obama leaped from the podium and beat the sh** out of Major Garrett of CBS for asking a particularly insulting, loaded question about the Iran nuclear deal. "That's f****** bullsh** you pompous snot nose motherf*****," the President was heard to say as he pummeled the hapless reporter. "This is a side of the President we'd like to see more of," said a small crowd of supporters who have endured the President's measured and calm responses to the most vituperative and vile remarks hurled at him for years. "I've never been so proud of him as when he decked that CBS guy," said one fellow. "That prick had it coming." The President calmly strode back to the podium and dared anyone else to ask him a stupid question as paramedics administered medical assistance to Mr. Garrett.* * * * * * * * Re. nuclear deal with Iran: Nixon didn't pursue peace with China - oh wait, yes he did. Reagan didn't pursue peace with the Soviet Union - oh wait, yes he did. War with Iran may very well be averted as Iran dismantles its nuclear weapons program; nevertheless, Republicans vow to fight.* * * * * * * An Onion article from 2009 explains the sudden rise on Donald Trump in the Republican polls: Onion article from 2009 explains Donald Trump's rise in the Republican polls........... Stupid Man Overshadowed By Louder Stupid Man............... BETHESDA, MD—A long, idiotic rant delivered by a demonstrably stupid man was interrupted Monday by the ramblings of a man who, in addition to being stupid, spoke in a very loud voice. "The first man was certainly stupid, but he was more relentless than loud," said a quiet and somewhat reasonable man who witnessed the dispute. "So when the other man began saying something even stupider at a much higher volume, naturally I had to pay attention to him." As of press time, both men had quieted down somewhat, but remained stupid. * * * * * * * * * Re. the latest mass shooting, this one in Tennessee, just remember that guns don't kill people, people with guns kill people.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Fireflies in the Summer

I enjoy sitting on the front porch in the evening when the fireflies/ lightning bugs come out. There is something magical about that. The scientific family name, Lampyridae, comes from the Greek "lampein," meaning to shine … just like a lamp --- a chemical called luciferin (note the same Latin root as Lucifer meaning shining light) inside their abdomen/tail combines with oxygen, calcium, and adenosine triphosphate, and a chemical reaction occurs that creates their spectacular light, I read. I watched a pair of males(the ones with the bioluminesence) move all around around a neighbor's front yard last night about 9 pm, about 18 inches apart in devilish synchrony, their flashes coming every 5 seconds or so showing off for the females hiding in the bushes and grass. Always about 18 inches apart, the two of them in the dusky shadows. Biologists suspect this is mating behavior, a firefly mating dance exhibition, a first and only date in a choreographed and abbreviated courtship, because shortly thereafter, those two fireflies were making lightning bug love with their respective honeys in that grassy forest! The lightning bug season is short-lived here, though, and lasts but a few days or weeks, if that, and their brief fling on this planet lasts but about two months. As children, we caught them and put them in glass jars with lids we'd poked holes in. We used to watch them for a while and then let them go. Sometimes, in a sacrifice for science, we'd smash one or two to see the bio-luminescence on the sidewalk gradually fade away, and wonder how that worked. Sad to say, they are gradually declining as civilization plows, poisons, and paves over their habitat.

Friday, July 03, 2015

Give Peas a Chance

As you all know, I, from time to time, or perhaps several times a day, comment on the issues of the day on my facebook page, or every week or so here, and have decided to weigh in on another important and controversial issue rocking the nation, an issue of such great importance that President Obama has weighed in against. The issue is related to Mexico, a current issue for sure, and involves guacamole. I'm on the fence when it comes to adding peas to guacamole........never tried, never even thought about it. They are both green. I would try it. they'd have to be fresh. Like we used to say in the 60s and 70s, give peas a chance. * * * * * * * * On the good news front, the marigolds I planted are finally growing faster than the rabbits can eat them! It was a close race there for a while. Those bunnies were nibbling the little marigold shoots about as fast as they grew. I wonder if marigolds are less tasty the larger they get. * * * * * * * * The U.S. added 223,000 Jobs In June; Unemployment Rate Falls To 5.3% ; outraged Republicans are scrambling to put the worst possible interpretation on this news and vow to fight. I know there are issues of stagnant wages and income disparity, but the speed at which the Repubs tried to spin this as bad news was dizzying. * * * * * * * Donald Trump, Republican Presidential candidate, vowed today to sue everybody in the US unless they vote for him. "I'm suing Univision and now NBC and maybe Macy's and I'll sue your f****** a** unless you vote for me," he said at a campaign rally were the only people were hired actors paid to cheer. "I'm f****** rich and I'll sue your a** for a gazillion bazillion $$$. You f***** with the wrong Marine," he screamed at he was escorted from the stage to the sound of a dozen cheering actors.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump is rising in the Republican preference polls like a giant hot-air balloon, the simile for which seems appropriate for an over-inflated gas bag. His racist rants appeal to older white male bigots, which is the essential foundational base of the Republican party. He's been "fired" by Macy's, by NBC, by UniVision, and even the USGA and PGA golf organizations have distanced themselves. In Mexico, pinata manufacturers are now selling images of Trump for people to smash. Trump is a really really rich a**hole with no veneer of civility to temper the dislike he has for people. * * * * * * ** * And finally, I have officially changed Ruther Bader Ginsburg's name to Ruth Badass Ginsburg in honor of her honor.