Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Thurston Howell III - Hail! to the Victors Valiant (Michigan Fight Song)

After all that populist Tea Party hyped phoniness the last two years, the Republicans have come up with a zillionaire, two Washington insider lobbyists, and a nut running for President (well, perhaps 2 nuts, maybe even 3). Thurston Howell III, Elmer Gantry, Scrooge, and Barney Fife all engaged in a campaign for the most powerful job in the world. Egad.

Going 0 for 2 last night, Rick Santorum said he had a "great night" and bragged about his college educated mother -- just days after calling President Obama a "snob" for wanting to give all Americans an opportunity for higher education. The less educated Michigan voters were, the more likely they voted for Rick Santorum. This could explain his opposition to college educations. He went on to say, "I'm not giving up. I'll continuing campaigning on my positions: pro-Iran war, anti-secular pro-theocratic form of government for the US, my anti-immigrant, anti-birth control, anti-sex, anti-Protestant, anti-higher education, and anti-JFK messages until virtually no one will vote for me except those racists who give Ron Paul money. And if I lose, I'll just go back to my comfortable life as a Washington DC insider/lobbyist making a $1 million a year."

Just days ago Mitt Romney said, "I'm tall, good looking, and filthy stinking rich, and I can't believe I'm losing to that moron Rick Santorum." The Onion reported today that "Romney Thanks State He Was Born And Raised In For Just Barely Giving Him Enough Votes To Beat Total Maniac." "Michiganders in the last two weeks discovered who I really am,' said Rick Santorum. 'And that's why I went from 10 pts. ahead two weeks ago to losing by 3% last night."

It could be Santorum's smug, self-righteous elevation of ignorance as a value. Or it might be his casual war mongering carelessness. Or it could be his smarmy self-lubricating hypocritical cherry picking of Catholic teachings while claiming Barack Obama and mainline Protestants aren't Christians ( his tax returns show charitable giving in the 2-3% range, by the way). His pledges to dismantle public education, his stance against college educations because of secular "indoctrination," his plans to start a war with Iran, use up our natural resources as fast as we can, and institute some strange and mean theocratic form of government ( i.e. the recent all male Congressional hearings on birth control) to regulate our sex lives, give me the willies. Or it could be his latest pronouncements that John F Kennedy's advocacy of separation of church and state wants to make him "throw up."

Anyway, I don't like him...... I'm glad he lost.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Politics and Religion

You can't make this stuff up. After watching the last couple of days of politics in Michigan and all the TV talking heads, let's see if I've got this straight. Evangelicals don't think Mormons or Catholics are Christians. Rick Santorum, a Catholic who cherry picks which parts of Catholicism he'll observe, doesn't think mainline Protestants are Christians, but hasn't said what he thinks about Mormonism. A significant chunk of Republicans think President Obama is a Muslim even though he says he is a Christian. And Mitt Romney won't even talk about Mormonism. Thank God, if you will, the Constitution says "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States." If such a test were given, I'm guessing all the accusers would flunk.

Friday, February 10, 2012

CPAC Conference - Imaginary Conservative Republican Speech

CPAC Republican speaker- We need a President who will lower taxes to the lowest rates since the 1950's, increase military spending to their highest levels ever, support freedom fighters in the Middle East and overthrow dictators, go after the Taliban and Al Qaeda wherever they are, spy on Americans without warrants, imprison American citizens indefinitely without charges in military prisons, and kill Bin Laden even if it means violating the sovereignty of foreign countries.......

Wait a minute. What? You're kidding,. Well, excuse me folks, I've just been informed President Obama did all that.... Never mind.

What we need is a President who wants to continue the payroll tax reduction that puts Billions of dollars back into working people's pockets..... Hold on..... What's that? Obama's wants to do that and we want to raise those taxes? Are you sure? That doesn't make any sense. What's Grover Norquist say about this? Go check with Boehner or McConnell.... that can't be right.

We need a President who will fight against health insurance mandates.... What? You're kidding. That was our idea? MItt Romney did that in Massachusetts? Damn. Okay. Nevermind.

We need a President who will open up vast areas of offshore oceans for oil exploration...... What? He did? Okay, never mind.

What we need is a President who's not afraid to show us his birth certificate, like Donald Trump would.... We don't even know if he was born here... Oh, what? He did? He was? Oh, okay, never mind.

We need a President who worked his way up from poverty, excelled in school and as an educator, became a respected and successful family man and stayed married to the mother of his children before running for public office. What? No way. You're kidding me. President Obama did all that? Okay, never mind.

I know, let's go with this:

What we really need is a President who will fight against a woman's right for health coverage for birth control.... There, that's our message of the week!

Thank you.