Thursday, June 30, 2016

Odds and Ends

Having found no wrong-doing by Hillary Clinton in the Benghazi investigation, Congressional Republican Trey Gowdy announced today he will begin investigating Hillary Clinton's role in the death of Abraham Lincoln, the fall of the Roman Empire, and the mass extinction of dinosaurs which occurred 65 million years ago. "She did nothing to prevent these events," he said. "We want to know: why not? Furthermore, in all the emails she has released, there is not one single email in regard to these above issues. Can you say coverup? I guarantee you President Obama's Justice Department would never investigate this." * * * * * * * * * Dear England: You Brexit; you bought it. I don't understand parliamentary democracy. Things go haywire; everybody resigns. Here, they go to jail. Or they become lobbyists. Or they get re-elected. Or they run for President. Some Scots comment on Donald Trump: "Bloviating flesh bag"; "mangled apricot hellbeast"; "clueless numpty"; "weapons-grade plum,""... you tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon," "... you leather faced, shit-tobogonist," and, of course ... "Ignorant piece of failed rotten haggis"* * * * * * * * If Texas voted to leave the United States, the stock market would probably go up. * * * * * * * George Will can be a pompous dick at times, but he's left the Republican party so I'm cutting him some slack. * * * * * * * * I'm usually critical of Congress for sitting around on their asses, but in the case of the Dems sit-in last week, I'm making an exception! Good going Dems. Keep it up.To hear the Republicans, one of whose members read "Green Eggs and Ham" on the floor of the US Senate and another who thought a holding snow ball disproved global warming, complain about a sit-in as a publicity stunt was rather amusing. * * * * * * * Republicans are trying to stop the Pentagon from determining how global warming will affect national defense strategies. * * * * * * * Addressing an evangelical conference today, Donald Trump accused Hillary Clinton of being a Methodist. "Most Americans don't even know what Methodism is. This is not even an American religion like Christianity," Trump said. "This came from England and John Wesley. Distinguishing Methodist doctrines include Christian perfection, an assurance of salvation, the priesthood of all believers, the primacy of scripture and works of piety. Methodism also emphasizes "social holiness", missionary zeal, charity, and service to the poor and vulnerable.These ideals are put into practice by the establishment of hospitals, universities, orphanages, soup kitchens, and schools to follow Jesus Christ's command to spread the Good News and serve all people," Trump said. "This is not what America is about. Piety my ass," he said.* * * * * * * * Best line of the week: Hillary Clinton acknowledged that Donald Trump has written several books about his business acumen. "But they all end at Chapter 11," she said. BOOM.

Friday, June 17, 2016

"Shut the f*** up, Donnie"

More and more Republicans are adopting a Big Lebowski approach to Donald Trump's ridiculous pronouncements: "Shut the f*** up, Donnie. You're out of your element." And more and more Americans are looking up "fascism" in their dictionaries while they're at it. * * ** * * * * * I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Marco Rubio maintains that giving the nuclear codes to Donald Trump is dangerous but that he'll vote for him anyway.* * * * * * * * * It's beginning to appear that I had more income listed on my taxes this year than Donald Trump did. * * * * * * * * Imagine a world in which well-armed LGBTQs packing AR-15s were converging on North Carolina Home Depots to use their restrooms of choice. Like my brother Dave said, "It's easy if you try." Imagine. * * * * * * * * * Senate Republicans today accused President Obama of not praying enough in response to the mass murders in Orlando, Fla. * * * * * * * Donald Trump took the opportunity of the Orlando terror attack to congratulate himself on how smart he thinks he is. This smug prick makes me sick.* * * * * * * * * * Republican Senators shrugged off the Democratic filibuster on gun control today. "We haven't done anything for months in the Senate and we weren't going to do anything today. They can talk all they want. We don't have any plans to do anything of any substance any time soon - maybe we'll vote to repeal Obamacare again." Really, though, Republicans are actually now considering whether or not to deny the sales of weapons to persons on the suspected terrorist "no-fly" list. * * * * * * * * I noticed a house rental ad which said the home "was close to everything." Seems unlikely.* * * * * * * The NRA today demanded that President Obama do something to stop gun violence...........Let that sink in for a bit. This is a good candidate for "Irony of the Day Award." * * * * * * * * I found a quote from Sam Snead on fast US Open greens: It was so fast my ball marker slid down hill.